Opening my heart

Before I begin: This is not meant to be perfect, this is my heart being opened to you to share and encourage you and help you grow in any way I can. There is so much freedom in being vulnerable. I live for this one thing, to be a living example of Jesus. Be blessed friends!

Being unashamed of making mistakes in our process of life is what is on my mind today. As I make feel called back to writing, I feel fear coming back up, comparsion, wondering if what I am saying will be good enough, if I will be able to make things make sense to the people that will be reading this. I wonder who will be reading this and what they will be thinking about me. I want this blog to be a real expression of the person I am. I want to express my thoughts,  my ambitions, my struggles, and my excitement. I believe the Lord has been suggesting I write blogs about what he has been doing in my life. So much has been going on. I am so busy that I  weekly have to schedule a date with myself and Jesus. As I write this, this first one may be a little scatter brained and messy. But over time I believe I will get better at organzing my thoughts. I just have so much to share to you. I have a huge desire to share what God tells me and what he teaches me. I believe we receive from God the way we receive from others. I enjoy being taught, I enjoy relaxing and just spending time with others, ( quality time is my #1 love language) these two ways are ways that I feel God speaking to me. Through life lessons, and through me being quiet and listening for his voice through thoughts in my mind. I believe each person on the face of this earth can have a relationship with God. I grew up hearing that from the time I could comprehend anything. I grew up hearing about how jesus wants to have a relationshp with you. It wasn't until the past year that I actually understood what that means- or at least have a better understanding of it. I believe it will be a lesson I'm always learning about and improving on. Every person is made in the image of God. God showed his plans for us and what his will is for our lives when he sent Jesus in human form.  God so much (he has HUGE emotions) wants us to depend on him. I will say it again, God wants us to depend on him. He wants us to be his children, and he wants to be our dad. He is seen in every one of his children. His characteristics, his personality, his creativity, his expressions. Jesus came to give us life abundantly. What are we doing with that? What do you do with that statement? Do you think it's a made up good feeling story, or do you live it out? What reponse do you have when you hear that God made a way for you to be in CONTINUAL relationship with him, CONTINUAL abidance with the maker of everything that is and ever will be? What are we living for? Recently i've been crazing God's presence so much more strongly than I have before. I don't like being in places that I don't feel him very close. Once you get into God's presence you don't want NYTHING more. I truely believe what psalms says that in his presence is fullness of joy. See, this is all available to everyone. Everyone who wants it. When i see people not happy, things not going right, people being mad at God or just simply living out of selfish desires, i want to let them know that they have a way to live with the joy God has for us. We live in a world that has sin in it. But Jesus came into the world, took our sin, and saved us from death, and is now praying for us to come into his dads kingdom. We have so much hope, its all just a matter of if we search it out, if we want it, where we look, and who we look to. Every one on the face of this earth is needy- though in our american culture we believe the lie that we are to be independent and not need people or intimate relationships- we were made to be needy. The word needy has a negative connotation with it. But it is the way God has made us- we all need and want something...who do we put in that place or what do we put in that place that desires to be needed/to be loved? We either put earthly things in that place( things that are not eternal and that cannot sustain us) or we put heavenly things in us to satisfy us( the ultimate and eternal truth of the best love story ever told- the truth that God's love for us is what we all DESIRE, WHAT WE ALL WANT) It is not selfish to want love. It is not selefish to want to be liked, to want tohave people spend time with you, to want to share your dreams, your success, or drives you have to change the world- that is not selfish, but that is a part of us that wnats to be loved, to be fulfilled. Jesus can love us the way we want to be loved. Why? Because he understands how we are made (he is God himself) He knows everything  he sees the uniqueness in us, he sees what we need and can give it to us. He just asks the father and it is done. Who else has loved you so much to give himself up so much to die for you? He showed what love is. To lay down your life for your friends. Jesus calls us friends, he calls us brothers and sisters. When will we realize this? When will we really live this out? When will we believe God's words more than people's words (ex. religious people) Do you know that Jesus is Lord of your life? That pastors arent, that the pope isn't, but that Jesus is your Lord- meaning he is the one who can lead you, to show you the way to go in this life, to show us what our hearts desires are, to speak to us about what church to attend, what job to take, what mission organizion to get inovlved in, how to love that person that gets on our nerves, how much to tithe, how much time to spend with people, how much time to spend with God. Jesus is the king. The king is to be enthroned in every area of our life. In every circumstance, every sphere of influence we have, every relationship. God desires this because he says so in his word- that he gave all rule to Jesus.  "He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earath, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities- ALL THINGS- were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be PREEMINENT." Colossians 1:15-18. I guess I just really want to make clear that life is all about lving for Jesus. What does that mean?I know it is hard for some poeple to understand  I want to be clear because I want to help people understand, and not to be confused! There is no long term joy in living for our selves- it is biblical and i feel that it is something i have experienced. There is no joy like Jesus' joy. To know tha tyou are taken care of, and that in God's perfect timing he makes us into his son, more and more, as time goes on. Knowing that he gives us our hearts desires when we find life in abiding in hm and his goodness. To know that Jesus is lover of my soul, and he comforts me like no other is enough for me to want to live for him. See, its his love that leads us to repentance ..its his love and gentleness that draws us to him. It isn by rules, religious rules in particular, that lead us to him. They only put a stumbling block in the way of receiving the love he wants to give us. Because it's by his grace, nothing that we do, its his nature to pursue us, to love us, to chase us, to find us where we are, he waits for us to clal on him. He won't force his way to make us hear him, to make us love him, to make us want to follow him and obey him. He doesn't do that, because he didn't like us. God isn't like people. God is love- and we are still learning what that looks like= we don't really know what love is until we have a relationship with God. The whole world will know what love is when Jesus returns and takes us to where he is in his kingdom with his father and all the angels. But until then, we learn what love is through learning about Jesus- through knowing him, reading his word and having it come alive by the working of the holy spirit, and by walking day to day with Jesus- talking to him, waiting for his voice, falling in love with him. Falling in love with someone doesn't feel like work- its natural. That's how  God wants us to view his ways and actions toward us. His actions towards us are always love. He wants us to see what love is through us understanding his character. All God can do is love, all that he does is for our good, becuase he can't be anything other than his characteristics. He is who he is, and he doesn't change. We change all the time- we are human, he is God. It's important to understand our roles and his roles. We are children of God and we are made in his image- we are made to receive love( him being our source) and give it away- so that God can be made known to his children. It's a beautiful picture when you really think about it. But how often do we think about it? We are so busy in this time of humanity that its hard to sit still and think about anyone but ourselves. Just typing this makes me want to go on a trip to a different culture-where they don't value the "me" culture that America values. I desire that so much because I have come to realize that the less I think about me, the more free I become. When we put King Jesus at the center of our lives( surrender, repentence, lovingly laying down our lives) we become who we were made to be. God made us to be in relationship with him. Remember that truth today in whatever you do. God wants to be your friend, HE ISN'T MAD AT YOU. He wants to love you the way he made you to receive love. He knows you way better than you will ever know yourself. " And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19. I feel like it is important to meditate on scriptures, this is something i'm going to put to practice more regularly. God will supply all our needs!!! Woo hoo! Let's get excited about God's working power in us! We are being transformed from glory to glory!!!!